The Six Types Of Co-Workers We All Have
Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant SUR is home to a bunch of different servers and bartenders – all with their own distinct over-the-top personalities. We all have some colleagues we love, and others who we’d rather not share an elevator ride, much less five days a week, with. Here are the six types of colleagues we’ve all worked with at one time or another …
The Charming Sloth
This colleague can get away with doing absolutely nothing by using their smile. They can frequently be seen leaning against a wall or checking their phone while you do all the work. They make everyone else laugh to distract from their general incompetence, but you can’t stay mad at them because they’re so fun to be around.
This person has worked in the same place for decades. A gossipmonger, they seem to know everything – including everybody’s secrets. They can usually be seen with a set of keys that seem to unlock all of the forbidden areas of the office. They don’t seem to actually do anything but nobody minds because you don’t want to get on their bad side.
Is there anything worse than sitting next to someone who moans constantly about how much work they have to do? You don’t understand their struggle because they work much harder than you, and everyone else on the planet for that matter. If only they could realise that if they spent less time talking about how much work they have to do, they could actually get a lot of stuff done.
The Attention Seeker
This is the person who comes in on a Monday morning and proceeds to tell you about how dramatic their weekend was. They are always in the middle of a break-up, or arguing with someone, or on some kind of fad diet. They never ask you about yourself, and you often wonder if they even listen to a word you say. “I just don’t want any drama,” they say; while simultaneously stirring up some drama.
The Silent Assassin
Usually found as far away from anyone else as possible, this colleague favours quiet time by themselves over group chats about which Real Housewife would survive the longest in a post-apocalyptic world*. You could work with this person for five years and still not know much more than their name and tea preference. They could take an entire month off and you’d be none the wiser. These are usually the people who end up getting thrown out of the Christmas party for getting too drunk and performing a far-too-sexy rendition of ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’.* Lisa Vanderpump, obv
The Terrifying Boss
There are certain bosses you can have a laugh with. As long as you get your work done, they treat you well and don’t stand over you while you’re trying to look busy. Lisa Vanderpump is this kind of boss. She gives her staff plenty of freedom and only intervenes when she thinks they are making her look bad. Then there is the other kind of boss. Their sole purpose in life appears to be making your time at work as miserable as possible. When they aren’t criticising you they are taking credit for your work. These are people you don’t want to be around for too long because you know it’s only a matter of time until their next tantrum. You could complain about them but you’re terrified of them so you’ll just settle for plotting their downfall and rolling your eyes whenever they turn their back.
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