17 Independence Day Family Photos These Families Wish They Could Destroy With Their Fireworks

Every family has pictures they wish they could burn. Some families have pictures they wish they could tie to a Roman candle and blow up in the sky. Here are a few of them, just in time for the 4th of July.

  1. 1

    This Highly Elegant 4th of July Wedding

    The hats are here to commemorate the tri-cornered hat Paul Revere wore on his midnight ride. Only they're classier.

  2. 2

    A Toast to Lady Liberty

    It's never too early to teach the kids that real Patriots drink wine as red as the stripes of the American flag.

  3. 3

    Smoke Bombs Bursting in Air

    It's just like the magenta smoke from the cannonfire that accompanied the naval battle at Fort McHenry in the War of 1812.

  4. 4

    You've Heard of Bucket Hats...

    Now get ready for PAIL HELMETS, the most patriotic of headgear!

  5. 5

    Benedict Arnold Was Here

    Much like we pushed that famous traitor out of our good graces, Uncle Dave pushed his pot-smoking nephew Stephen out of the family portrait.

  6. 6

    The Unstoppable Fountain of Patriotism

    The Great Tide of Freedom was too much for this poor infant.

  7. 7

    Liberty and Justice For All

    Nothing says equality like equally horrifying matching outfits.

  8. 8

    The Fingerless Crocheted Arms of the Law

    This little enforcer is ready to do his duty as a patriot.

  9. 9

    And the Rockettes' Red Glare

    This is not the kind of chorus line the kids had in mind when they suggested the costumes.

  10. 10

    Stars and Stripes Forever

    Even on Easter, which is actually when this photo was taken.

  11. 11

    The Sparks of Liberty Cannot Harm the True Patriot

    Not even when that patriot is naked. Not even when that patriot is a three-year-old. Not even when that patriot is a naked man standing next to a three-year-old.

  12. 12

    The Unpatriotic Ingrate

    Fire cannot burn a true patriot. He was no patriot.

  13. 13

    Old Glory

    Freedom never dies, and neither will this portrait of Grandma.

  14. 14

    The Daughters of Liberty

    Forever in peace may you WERK.

  15. 15

    American Dad

    This Dad's dedication to freedom is such that he wears a bowtie featuring only the original 13 colonies, the most patriotic of all states.

  16. 16

    The Patriot

    Really, Mel Gibson should have dropped the axe and used that badass sword from Braveheart.

  17. 17

    Liberty and Justice

    Is the Musical Sequel to American Idiot about what happens when Green Day Mocks the USA, starring Liberty and Justice as Angsty but Patriotic Teens 1 and 2.

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